The Rock Can’t Save This Deeply Mediocre DC Superhero Movie

Tepid. Lukewarm. Mediocre. Bland. Sluggish. Perfunctory. Dull. Anemic.

These are not words you want associated with your big, expensive blockbuster superhero movie, but they’re the ones that come to mind when I think about Black Adam. The Rock’s superhero (anti-hero) DC debut is all of these and more, a lifeless slog that offers up plenty of big, flashy fight scenes and a ton of gaudy CGI but little reason to care about who wins or loses. Little reason to care about any of the characters or the final outcome.

The film’s plot is as predictable as they come, and moviegoers will likely be able to plot out exactly what’s going to happen after the first five minutes. The characters—most of whom are introduced in this movie, including the B-List heroes of The Justice Society—are shallow and uninspired, relying entirely on cliches and superpowers to snag even a smidgeon of our attention.

It’s an odd narrative choice to introduce Dr. Fate, Hawkman, Cyclone and Atom Smasher all at the same time in a film that’s not directly related to any of them. That’s too many new characters all at once to really give any of them substantial character arcs or motivations, and ultimately these four potentially interesting characters are sold short.

The non-superhero characters—academic revolutionary Isis and her son Amon—are meant to be the emotional anchors of the film, the good citizens of Kahndaq who just want freedom from the nefarious Intragang occupiers. Isis’s brother, Mohammed, serves as welcome—if formulaic—comic relief.

But all three are utterly generic stand-ins for actual people. There’s no depth to any of them. None of the human touches that make us actually care whether they live or die, or make their plight and struggle relatable.

And why does everyone in Kahndaq only speak English? For a film that pretends to give a damn about colonialism, its critique of foreign meddling is as limp as the rest of the plot.

It’s equally jarring to have every citizen of Kahndaq speak with a vaguely Middle-Eastern accent except for the Champion himself. The Rock’s Black Adam sounds as American as apple pie (though imagining Dwayne Johnson affecting a cheesy Middle-Eastern accent for the full run of this film makes me downright queasy; perhaps this is a blessing in disguise).

Black Adam is all spectacle and no substance. It’s a superhero movie without a spine. From start to finish, outside of a few bits of welcome humor and some fun fight scenes, this is as phoned-in as superhero movies get. That’s par for the course for DC and Warner Bros. these days. The DCEU is practically synonymous with mediocrity at this point.

Thankfully, the whole thing only lasts 2 hours and 4 minutes, though it felt like a much longer film thanks to its lack of anything even remotely resembling dramatic tension.

Another movie about a cosmically powerful supervillain threatening to destroy the world that’s ultimately stopped by the time the credits roll? How exciting. There’s no suspense when the stakes are too high to ever actually come true. When you make the central conflict so impersonal and unrealistic, apathy sets in. Apathy and boredom. And by the sixth or seventh big fight scene, the tedium is almost unbearable. Give us characters we care about and put them in actual danger. Give our heroes tough choices. That’s how you create tension and audience investment.

If you do manage to stay awake until the end of Black Adam, there’s a mildly interesting mid-credits scene that promises more to come from The Rock and another overpowered DC superhero.

Then again, without a major overhaul at Warner Bros. and DC and some serious soul-searching about the future of the DCEU, I’m not sure that “promise” is the right word. Maybe “threat” would be more apropos. The last two DC movies I’ve seen in theaters—this and The Batman—may be useful cures for insomnia, but not much else. Subjecting myself to yet another lackluster DC snoozefest sounds more like a threat than a promise. Then again, I do love a good nap.

What did you think of Black Adam? Let me know on Twitter or Facebook.

You can watch my video review of Black Adam below.

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