“Please Don’t Tell Me I Look Good For My Age” Time To Get Age Appropriate

It is always pleasant to receive what seems to be a genuine compliment. That said, ‘You look great…” can turn into a very different statement when followed by ‘for your age.’

It happened to me for the first time in my early forties and the more it happens, the more it has started to grate.

This issue I have is the last three words…’for your age’. Assigning this condition to the sentence, is completely ageist, in my opinion.

We live in a society obsessed with ageing which is still seen in a largely negative way. We need more positive and realistic representation of what getting older looks like. A few more candles on the cake should be a celebration of life, wisdom, experience – anything but a back-handed compliment.

Brands of course have a responsibility to play in the narrative. Recently, L’Oréal generated headlines after enlisting ten over-45 influencers to promote a new serum for, as the brand described it, a ‘mature’ skin. The campaign was to promote its Age Perfect Golden Age Rosy Oil Serum, a revitalising serum created in partnership with the agency, Billion Dollar Boy. Its promoters were aged from 45 with the eldest contributor, Anita, being aged 84.

“While a few fine lines should be celebrated as a sign of a life well-lived, no one wants to see their glow go,” explained Gabriella Ostrenius, Nordic Social Brand Manager for L’Oréal Paris MASS.

The surprising and quite sad thing was that the campaign itself garnered so much attention simply for featuring this age-group of consumers. Surely given the size of the population and the spend potential, it should be commonplace that 45+ are equally represented in most major beauty campaigns.

Women over 45 represented nearly 50% of the female population in 2019 and accounted for 41% of the total spend on cosmetics and toiletries*. Why wouldn’t brands ensure equal weight of messaging, focus and communications on this very important demographic?

The issue runs rife in the fashion world too.

As I write this, the world’s media is reporting on fashion week, with Paris complete and runways about to open in New York, London and Milan.

The world’s media will be watching and thousands of column inches covered. There will be a token rare sighting of the ‘older model’ which serves as an uncomfortable PR hook, but the reality is that the average age for a runway fashion model remains 23 years. (Fashion Model Directory).

In this era of diversity and inclusion, race, sex, ability and age should all be represented positively and regularly on our catwalks, in magazines, in the press and certainly in the advertising that we continually absorb. Seeing an older model should simply be an everyday occurrence, not a stand-out moment, in what should be a society represented fully and authentically.

Research from inclusivity campaigner and founder of The Commonland, George Lee, shows that from ages 18 to 99, it is not desirable to be defined by age; yet the world remains wedded to labels such as pensioner, boomer, gen X, Y Z, snowflake, millennial etc.

Acclaimed economist and business psychologist Andrew Scott and Lynda Gratton write in their book, The New Long Life, “the danger is that generational labels could be nothing more than a demographic version of astrology, using arbitrary dates to form judgements about individual personality and needs”.

These age generalisations may have worked at one point, but if we step back and genuinely look into how people are living their lives, we can see that the patterns and commonalities that do exist are indeed not related just to age but to values, attitudes and beliefs.

I spoke to Anne, a retired educator from Cambridge, England who confirmed my thoughts:“I am generally comfortable in my 64 year old skin and have always been interested in fashion. I am in constant pursuit of a look which dictates comfort but avoids frumpiness, is marginally edgy but not contrived. It is a difficult balance to strike, I think. Images of older women can be airbrushed, nipped and ticked …. unnatural and aspiring to replicate the conventions of the young. Not at all helpful! And why do all the token older models have willowy bodies and streaming locks?! We, the interested and aware consumers of a certain age, are barely represented at the beauty counter or in the showcase fashion outlet.”

One fashion retail brand that has eschewed some of this demographic simplification is The Bias Cut. The business positions itself as the first age inclusive multi-label premium womenswear online shopping platform.

By unapologetically celebrating all ages, with a particular emphasis on the underserved 40+ market, it is attracting attention and promoting social change with an ambition of ending ageism in fashion and meeting the needs of what it claims is an emerging consumer demand for ‘age agnostic’ fashion based on values, attitudes and beliefs.

And while the cynical could argue that this is simply a passion project, the numbers seem to suggest otherwise. It is currently raising seed funding for further expansion with profit growth sitting at 199% 2021 vs 2022.

At the same time, its customer research also shows that 65% of women feel that brands are geared towards younger women with others focussed on comfort rather than style. $1 out of every $5 spent post pandemic was by baby boomers (NPD), and the over-50s will spend £11 billion on clothes and shoes between 2019 and 2040, exceeding the under-50s. (ILC -UK).

Unsurprisingly Jacynth Bassett, founder of the The Bias Cut, is passionate about the role that the fashion industry plays.

“Ageism is the only ‘ism’ that every single one of us can experience, whether it is today or tomorrow. And due to gendered ageism, women in particular can struggle with their natural course of ageing; they become mutton dressed as lamb, crones, or simply feel invisible or ‘irrelevant”, details Bassett.

As Madonna highlighted: “Not only does society suffer from racism and sexism but it also suffers from ageism. Once you reach a certain age you’re not allowed to be adventurous, you’re not allowed to be sexual. I mean, is there a rule? Are you supposed to just die?”

Fashion has a particular responsibility to disrupt ageism. Its undeniable influence over cultural and socio-economic attitudes and actions, combined with its ageist ideals and behaviours, all make for a dangerously powerful combination that sways both internal and external negative attitudes. It is a sector that could and should lead the way in changing the narrative around ageing and certainly one to start championing age-inclusivity. This is, after all, the trends-setting industry.

“Ultimately ageing is a privilege, not a punishment, and we should feel empowered to wear it as a badge of honour”, summarises Bassett.

Let me lay down the gauntlet once and for all.

New York, London and Milan, indeed catwalk and fashion brands of the world: surely it’s time to move away from this formulaic, decades old ‘youth-only’ approach.

It’s so last season.

Bring on the models in their thirties, forties, fifties and beyond and join a movement that celebrates getting older. Not only does it make moral sense, it ticks the commercial box too.

As I get ready to embrace my late forties, I want to celebrate all that the experience of my age has given me and I feel fortunate to have the financial stability to buy into the brands and look-books which I like.

And if that means you would like to afford me a compliment on looking good….. then thanks in advance. Just please let’s leave out the ‘for your age’!