Netflix’s ‘Too Much’ Is A Relatable Tale About Breaking Up In A Social Media World

Lena Dunham’s new Netflix rom-com Too Much, which she co-created with her husband, Luis Felber, is a hopeful tale about losing love and finding it again.

We’ve all been there before, in the throes of heartbreak from a love lost, which is painful as is, but breaking up has been made exponentially worse with the advent of social media. Especially, as in this story, when one person is reeling from the painful ending while the other person has seemingly and with ease moved on. The forlorn and broken-hearted are now tortured with watching an ex’s new life unfold right on their phone.

When she began writing this script, Dunham knew she wanted Megan Stalter to portray Jessica, a thirtysomething New Yorker who becomes obsessed with her ex’s new girlfriend (played by Emily Ratajkowski) so much so that she makes daily videos talking to her.

Dunham has clarified that though the story is loosely based on her relationship with Felber, its main character is not based on her, but rather feelings she has experienced in her own life.

To escape her woes, Jessica takes a job in London, but as the old saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. Stalter was the perfect choice for this role with her immaculate sense of comedic timing.

Stalter stole every scene she was in in the award-winning HBO Max series Hacks, and she brings the same level of dedication and deadpan-mixed-with-hysteria-hilarity to Jessica.

Will Sharpe, who has proven himself to be a talented actor in hits such as HBO Max’s The White Lotus and the Netflix gem Giri/Haji, brings a unique mix of humility, wit, and charm to Felix, a British rocker who is a walking red flag, yet you want him to get the girl.

Though Jessica and Felix may at first seem to be an awkward pair, they soon prove that their love is the real deal. Stalter and Sharpe discussed why these two are such a great match in an interview before the show’s July 10 premiere.

“I love that they’re super different, but that they like each other’s differences, because you see in Jessica’s old relationship that they’re different, but that they don’t like or accept each other’s differences. They’re actually friends,” explained Stalter.

“They are open-minded about the weirder, messier aspects of each other,” added Sharpe.

As for Jessica, her obsession with her ex and his new girlfriend led her to go as far as breaking into their apartment, which she once lived in with him. Stalter talked about the torture that comes with comparing ourselves to the woman who comes before or after us in relationships. For some, this is a way of trying to find the answers as to why things didn’t work out.

“I had a lot of talks with Lena where I was like, ‘Well, Jessica is so confident. So, it’s interesting, this obsession.’ But it doesn’t matter how confident you are. You’re always going to compare yourself while you’re still heartbroken if someone moves on that quickly, because you’re like, ‘Why didn’t it work out with me?’ You take it personally. I think everyone has done that at some point, even if it was in high school.”

Though the underlying feelings of heartbreak and comparison are relatable, most of us don’t take things quite as far as Jessica does. In her case, she makes daily videos to the new girlfriend on her private social media account, which she accidentally makes public, and the videos go viral.

When asked if men also torment themselves in this way, Sharpe jokingly tried to deny that they react in the same ways women do. “Men are all supremely confident with no insecurities, so, yeah,” he laughed.

Both confirm they immediately loved these characters upon first reading Dunham’s scripts. “I just thought, ‘Wow, this is such a relatable person.’ And even if she’s doing something kind of crazy or off-putting, like breaking into her ex’s house, you still understand and like her somehow. Lena just does such an amazing job writing characters that you love, even when they’re having a breakdown, because they seem so real and they’re endearing even when they’re messing up,” said Stalter.

“I love the messiness of the characters and of the relationship, and how it wasn’t overly simplistic, and it wasn’t shy about the more challenging aspects of meeting someone and the way that the baggage from their previous relationships and their life experiences affects their present tense relationship in the story,” Sharpe expounded. “And I loved that all of the characters have layers to unpack as the story goes on. It feels very Lena Dunham…very in her voice as well, which I loved when I first read it.”

Dunham, who also served as writer, starred as Jessica’s sister, and directed eight of the ten episodes, discussed Jessica’s woes in an interview just before the show’s premiere.

“I think the thing about writing this character was that I really wanted to lean into the idea that so often, especially in your thirties, you’re comparing yourself to all these milestones that are around you, especially in the context of Instagram; the amount of people who are posting pictures of their houses and their babies and their lives…if you’re a person who feels like you’re a late bloomer, or maybe you created a life and then it collapsed, it can be very lonely. I wanted to show what it looked like for a woman to be starting over, and starting over with trepidation, but also with determination. And I really approached it from that angle first and then tried to bring in this male character of Felix and deepen him as the series went on.”

About those Instagram videos Jessica makes talking to the ex’s new girlfriend, Dunham wrote a scene where the two women meet and actually like one another. “I was thinking about the way that so often, you’re not even in an obsessive relationship with your ex. You’re in an obsessive relationship with your idea about what your ex’s new life looks like, and this person who comes after you takes on this form of almost a terrifying apparition, and you’re projecting so much onto them. And so it felt interesting to me, the idea that especially in this lonely moment in her life, that person becomes both an enemy and a crutch for Jessica,” explained Dunham, recalling her own experience with this dynamic.

“The majority of the time that I am threatened by someone, what it actually means is there’s something in them that I’m drawn to. And also, it makes perfect sense that two women who were attracted to the same person would also be attracted to something in each other. I loved the idea of these two women becoming allies in some way.”

Dunham’s clever writing and quirky yet relatable characters let viewers laugh at insecurities many of us have experienced. In the end, we’re all too much for some, but when you find the right person, they will love you just as you are.