Is my financial advisor just putting up with me because my mother is rich?

Question: I have roughly $500,000 in assets, including my retirement savings. However, I’m not sure that I meet the minimum asset requirement from my financial advisor. She took me on as a client because she already handles my mother’s money. My mother is wealthy, with millions of dollars invested. As a result, I often feel bad about pressing my advisor for more information. I assume I’m not an important client to her. The advisor has invested my money in funds I don’t understand, but I don’t feel like I have the power to question her. I basically just turn to her for advice if I’m making a major life decision, such as refinancing my mortgage. I have a friend who is a financial advisor, and I sometimes wonder if I should transfer my portfolio to him, but I also don’t want to deal with too much personality. What should I do? (You can use this tool to get matched with a financial adviser who might meet your needs.)

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Answer: Some of the discomfort you may be feeling might not come from direct communication, but instead from the messaging they put out in their newsletters, or in the wording on their website. “You might be subconsciously getting the message that you don’t fall into that category,” notes Kevin Mahoney, the founder of Illumint, in Washington D.C. 

But that messaging doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not meeting their minimum standard of assets or even if you don’t, that they don’t consider you an important client. After all, a lot of people become wealthy once they inherit money. “Millennials stand to inherit a good amount of money from their parents in the next decade,” Mahoney says. “Financial advisors are factoring that into their business plans.”

That said, it’s important that you feel comfortable with, and trust, your adviser. So have a talk with her about what’s bothering you, and how you’d like to communicate with her going forward. If you don’t get the feeling after that talk that she values you and is willing to put in the time you need, feel free to move on. (You can use this tool to get matched with a financial adviser who might meet your needs.)

“There’s no hard-and-fast rule that you should keep your parents’ advisor, or get your own advisor,” says Kenneth Alter, a managing director at International Planning Alliance in New Jersey. “You have to consider your own case on merit and make a decision from there.”

If it’s time to move on, there’s good news on that front. The financial advisor industry has changed markedly in the past decade, says Mahoney. Many “advisors don’t have the same investment minimums or approach to business which used to create feelings of inadequacy in young investors,” he says, adding that here are even “advisors available who specialize in particular stages of life.” Mohoney says: “People in rising generations are pursuing advisors who are more aligned with what their circumstances look like,” Mahoney says. (You can use this tool to get matched with a financial adviser who might meet your needs.)

Have a question about working with your current financial adviser or looking for a new one? Email [email protected].