Gabi Elnicki Still Feels ‘Violated,’ ‘Angry And Hurt’ By ‘Bachelor’ Zach Shallcross

Season 27 of The Bachelor is long over, but for former contestant Gabi Elnicki, the pain of the heartbreak and betrayal she experienced during her time on the show continues.

Viewers will remember Elnicki not only as the runner up in the competition for Zach Shallcross’ heart. She was also the woman the leading man broke his Fantasy Suites purity pledge with—a fact widely known because, after making a big deal about keeping sex “off the table,” Shallcross told host Jesse Palmer, eventual winner Kaity Biggar and the entire audience all about getting intimate with the 25-year-old account executive.

It was a reveal she didn’t see coming until she watched the episode with everyone else. That’s the part that still stings.

“I think the repercussions of it—of exposing me on the level he did—I wish he had thought that through more,” Elnicki said when she spoke to former Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe for the latest Off the Vine podcast. “There was a way to have a conversation and say, ‘I was intimate with someone this week,’ or ‘I was intimate in some form this week.’ But what hurt me was, it wasn’t just to Kaity. It was to Jesse. It was to all his interviews, time and time again. I mean, I could play a drinking game with how many times it was said, ‘I had sex with Gabi.’ Like using my name. Watching it back, I was like, ‘What?! Are you kidding? Could we not leave any room for imagination here?’”

On finale night, during the “After the Final Rose” special, she confronted Shallcross about what happened and about his promise not to speak about it at all.

“We decided it was going to be between us,” Elnicki told him of their encounter. “We said that that night. I remember I was brushing my teeth, and you came up behind me, you kissed me on the back of my head. You said, ‘This is just between us.’ And I said, ‘Yes, this is just between us.’”

He apologized at the time and admitted he went about things all wrong. But as Elnicki told Bristowe, while she wants to give Shallcross “some grace and understanding” when it comes to the choices he made, she isn’t quite ready to forgive.

“I’m not somebody who holds grudges toward people,” she insisted. “I don’t hold resentment; I don’t hold anger. Do I think I’m going to be pals with Zach? No. Am I still angry and hurt? Absolutely.”

Will she try to get past it? In time she hopes to, because Shallcross may never be her pal, but his fiancée, Biggar, already is.

“He is, hopefully, going to marry one of my close friends, and I plan to stay in Kaity’s life,” Elnicki said. “For me to hold hate towards him and anger and resentment—I’m hoping I can let that go at some point.”

However, she’s not rushing herself through the emotional process, adding, “At this point, I still feel violated, and I’m still getting over all of it.”