From Carlson And Greene To CNN And Fox

During his remarks, the president said the free press is “a pillar, maybe the pillar, of a free society, not the enemy,” and spoke of two American journalists facing danger abroad: Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich, who was imprisoned in March in Russia on espionage charges, and Austin Tice, a freelance photojournalist who was kidnapped in Syria in 2012.

Daily Show correspondent Wood spoke of his father, Roy Wood Sr., a journalist who co-founded the National Black Network.

In his remarks, Wood joked about the recent ouster of “untouchable” Fox News host Tucker Carlson, saying he knows what it’s like to be blindsided with “the sudden departure of a host of a fake news program,” (Daily Show host Trevor Noah left the show in December after seven years).

Biden also landed some blows on Fox News, joking that staffers at the network—which agreed to pay a staggering $787.5 million to settle a lawsuit from Dominion Voting Systems—stopped by the dinner because “they couldn’t say no to a free meal” (CNN wasn’t spared: Biden joked the network reacted to Fox’s massive settlement by remarking, “Wow, they actually have $787 million?”).

When joking about Thomas’ newly-exposed connections to multimillionaire real estate developer Harlan Crow, Wood said “Do you understand how rich you have to be to buy a Supreme [Court Justice]—a Black one on top of that? There’s only two in stock and Harlan Crow owns half the inventory.”

Biden said “if you find yourself disoriented or confused, either you’re drunk or Marjorie Taylor Greene,” mocking the hard-right firebrand lawmaker.

Biden also mocked Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ “Don’t Say Gay” legislation, saying, “after his re-election as governor he was asked if he had a mandate. He said ‘hell no, I’m straight! I’m straight!.’”

The 80-year-old president made a few cracks at his own age and image: He joked that 92-year-old Fox Corp chair Rupert Murdoch “makes me look like Harry Styles,” and said “this dinner sums up my first two years in office” because “I’ll talk for 10 minutes, take zero questions, and cheerfully walk away.”

Biden wrapped up his monologue by donning aviators and calling himself “Dark Brandon,” referencing a meme of a vengeful Biden alter-ego invented by some of the president’s supporters—and occasionally invoked by White House staffers.