For Country Artist Tolman – Gratitude Is Everything

Jenny Tolman spent the past year making many of her biggest dreams come true. She released a new album, got married, organized the first all-female country festival in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, saw her music video celebrating women who’ve survived drug addiction and human trafficking go viral, and welcomed her first child, a beautiful baby boy named Bear.

It seemed fitting the little guy would wrap up 2022 so perfectly, arriving on the very last day of the year, December 31^st.

Tolman let fans know he was on his way with her song “It’s a Boy,” late last year, and People Magazine helped introduce him to the world in January.

At 26, Tolman feels incredibly blessed.

“I feel very, very grateful. The only two things I’ve ever wanted in my life is to be a singer and to be a mom,” she says. “And I’m like, oh my gosh, it makes me want to cry.”

She’s a strong believer in expressing gratitude – consistently and on purpose. Her deep appreciation for the life she has today comes, in part, from some of the challenges she overcame to get there. Her personal philosophy to “focus on the positive” and “embrace the good” shines throughout much of her music.

She credits music with getting her through a traumatic time during her high school years. Learning to express herself through music not only brought her through a difficult period in her life, it helped her tap into a true gift for songwriting.

Tolman, who released her latest album Married in a Honky Tonk in March of 2022, still shares much of her life, oftentimes tongue-in-cheek, through her songs.

Growing up in Nashville, music was a natural part of her life from an early age.

“My dad was a singer at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theater (in Florida) and Burt had the idea to put these four guys together in a quartet called the Indian River Boys back in the 80s,” she says. “So, they moved to LA for a while, and he was actually running mates with Jim Neighbors and Dom DeLuise, and all those guys. But the group eventually moved to Nashville, and they sang on Garth Brooks No Fences album and did a lot of other cool stuff.”

When the Indian River Boys eventually disbanded, Tolman’s father stopped performing, but went work in other aspects of the music business.

She began learning to play the piano by ear when she was just three years old and always loved to sing. In elementary school she started writing stories and creating characters, something that would pave the way for songwriting.

“When I was 16, I got a guitar for my birthday and that was kind of a lightbulb moment for me. It was when Taylor Swift was starting to soar and I thought, I can do that! If I put everything I love to do together, singing, playing instruments, and storytelling – writing songs, I could be a singer/songwriter. And ever since then, there’s been no looking back.”

When she started high school, something happened that would change her life and influence the way she wrote songs.

“I went through an abusive relationship in my freshman year of high school,” she explains. “I had to go to court, I switched high schools, and I had really bad anxiety problems. I ended up dropping out of high school and graduating a year early from home school – just to be done with it.”

She began writing songs as a way to work through her frustration and sadness of losing out on the normal high school experience of other girls her age. Looking back, she says the lyrics were full of self-pity, but acknowledges it was an important part of the healing process

“But then there was this point where I was like, okay, I can sit here and wallow in this forever and feel sorry for myself or I can find a way to feel better about it. So, I started focusing on gratitude and being grateful for the things I DID have. And I found things to look forward to, and it was a really powerful tool to bring me out of this dark place.”

She discovered laughter was a great healer and began creating characters and telling funny stories.

“And that kind of became my focal point with my writing – to make people laugh and make them feel better. So, if you listen to my music, I’m always trying to have an enlightening message built in. Some of my favorite writers are Shel Silverstein, Roger Miller, and Dolly Parton, and they all have this way of saying ridiculous, wacky things, that make you laugh, but at the end of the song you’re like wait a minute, that had a really good message.”

Last year, she took one of her songs with a positive message a step further. She visited the Nashville-based Thistle Farms, an organization that helps women break free from drug addiction and human trafficking. Her initial thought was to donate some of the proceeds from her album to help, but while attending something called ‘Circle Time,’ she heard stories of some of those who found their way to Thistle Farms. One that struck her centered around the young woman in a horrific place latching on to ‘gratitude.’

“There was one story about a girl stuck in human trafficking and she was in this one hotel room, a beautiful hotel room. And when she woke up every day, she would look at the chandelier and simply be grateful for the chandelier. And I thought, oh my gosh, I can’t imagine the only thing to be grateful for is a chandelier. But it’s what kept her going and what eventually got her out of her situation. She ended up at Thistle Farms.”

Tolman decided to shoot the video for her song “Watering the Weeds,” with some of the women at Thistle Farms.

“I thought, there is something more we can do here. This song “Watering the Weeds” is a much lighter version than these women’s stories, but it’s all about how you can focus on the negative but what you focus on is going to grow and grow like weeds. Everybody’s going through something, some people’s struggles are more traumatic than others, but at the end of the day, it’s how you choose to handle it, and come out of it, that really matters.”

Her video shining a light on Thistle Farms went viral.

“We made this video with these three amazing women, Letitia, Jennifer, and Miss Doris. They told their stories and did an amazing job. And within a week we had over half a million views which has never happened to anything I’ve put out before. It shows the magnitude of what they’re doing at Thistle Farms and how much people care. Because for people to share it and watch it, and for it to go viral like that, shows a really good side of our society that is often hidden from us in today’s world.”

One of the biggest challenges Tolman tackled last year was planning the first all-female country festival of its kind at Jackson Hole’s Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. Tolman, who has performed in Jackson Hole a number of times, was asked by bar owner, Bill Baxter, to help create the festival. The ‘Cowgirls at The Cowboy’ debuted last October with great success.

“It went on for three nights and the first night we did a Songwriters Round,” Tolman says. “It was Natalie Hemby, Caitlyn Smith, and me. It turned out to be the most incredible event! If you’ve never been in the bar, it’s very cool inside, with saddles on the bar stools, and a really iconic honky tonk setting, It’s fun and rowdy, so a writer’s night was something different. We only sold tables, so people couldn’t be standing and holding drinks and talking. And it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. It was magical!”

On the second night, Tolman performed, along with Carter Faith, and Carly Pearce headlined the third night. Tolman and the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar are already planning for next year.

Tolman and her husband have a special bond with Jackson Hole and even held their wedding there. (Her husband is songwriter and GRAMMY-nominated producer, Dave Brainard.)

Tolman plans to take a couple of months off to enjoy being a new mom, before easing back into performing, but has no plans to slow down too much anytime soon.

“I’m focusing on my family right now and that’s the most important thing. But I’ll definitely be getting back on the road soon. We’ve got lots of new music coming and have to be getting the next Cowgirls Festival ready at the Cowboy for next year.”