Emotions In The Face Of Professionalism

We’ve all seen a child lose their cool in public. I’m talking full-on temper tantrum, kicking and screaming, as a parent tries in vain to help the situation. Maybe you’ve been that parent a few times too. As an onlooker, I always have empathy for whoever is attempting to communicate with a child in the middle of a meltdown. It’s impossible to reason with them, and most of the time the only option is to ride it out.

Now, imagine working with a leader that was just as unpredictable and volatile as a toddler at the grocery store–a person who could fly off the handle or lose their cool in front of anyone at any moment. Sounds terrible, right? Working with adults who don’t have a handle on their emotions can often feel like trying to reason with a grumpy child. This is why developing emotional intelligence is an essential part of being a successful leader.

What is emotional intelligence? Often referred to as EI, emotional intelligence is your ability to understand and manage your own emotions. As humans progress from childhood to adulthood, a certain level of emotional intelligence is acquired naturally, but as an adult, it’s essential to intentionally cultivate these skills further.

Those with well-rounded emotional intelligence can easily identify their feelings. They have a good understanding of why they are experiencing an emotion, as well as what it’s telling them and how it affects those around them. In short, they recognize and own their reactions to outside circumstances. If a person’s EI is underdeveloped, they are more likely to blame others for the way they are reacting.

Developing a good game face. In my experience truly great leaders always have excellent game faces. What’s a game face, you ask? It’s the ability to stay calm externally no matter what emotions you might be going through internally. Seasoned leaders have likely experienced a vast array of emotions while on the job, but what sets a superior leader apart is their ability to control those emotions.

If you are able to keep yourself composed in the face of wayward circumstances, those around you are more likely to stay calm. On the other hand, leaders who wear their emotions on their sleeve and react without thinking are more likely to negatively skew the emotions and reactions of others.

Stay calm, but also human. Now, don’t get me wrong. Keeping your cool under pressure does not equate to being robotic or without emotion. It just means your personal state of mind is far less likely to negatively affect outcomes.

Even great leaders will feel the full spectrum of human emotions, as they should. By honing your emotional intelligence, you’re not suppressing your feelings, you’re simply assessing and processing your emotions without involving others. Once you’ve been able to do that, you can then adjust your attitude and reaction to move forward in the most productive way.

Pause, then proceed. This skill hinges on the ability to take a pause. You must be able to step outside of your initial reaction and look at things objectively. This requires mental breathing room, and sometimes it requires physical space as well. When you feel yourself on the edge of reacting in an unproductive way (succumbing to anger, playing the victim, getting overwhelmed, etc.), it can be highly beneficial to physically remove yourself from the situation.

Let others know you’re taking a beat, then find a quiet place where you can be alone to think and process. Once you’ve cooled down, you can return to your duties with a clear head. Keep in mind, the length or type of pause needed will vary widely depending on the circumstances. Some situations may only require you to close your eyes and take a deep breath while others may require a good night’s sleep.

Stay mindful to maintain professionalism. Bringing this level of intention to your reactions builds your reputation as an emotionally intelligent leader. Prioritizing mindfulness in your professional life can be a difficult habit to develop, but any energy you put into it will come back to you tenfold. It’s time to start letting your reactions serve you, rather than undercutting your efforts or authority.