A Leader’s Weakness: Self-Deception

Nobody’s perfect. You’ve likely heard that bit of wisdom all your life. Everyone has areas they can improve on, and leaders are no exception to this. Sometimes you can become so caught up in your role as a leader of others that you lose sight of leading yourself. But what does that have to do with perfection? Let’s discuss.

The Pitfall of Self-Deception.

Along with many other admirable character traits, great leadership requires honesty. And as a leader the first and most important person you must get honest with is yourself. Many people in leadership positions end up self-sabotaging their own work by deceiving themselves on a regular basis.

Self-deception takes many forms in our lives, showing up in any scenario in which we fail to recognize and own up to our part in a situation. In the moment, we are unaware that we are lying to ourselves. Our brains will rationalize our character flaws away to avoid facing the hard fact that we are a part of the problem. This mentality keeps us moving forward as if we were perfect human beings as we are, rather than people who could use some improvement (and we all could!).

Heightened Awareness as Treatment.

The good news is you can fight against self-deception through studying your true nature. Naming your weaknesses can be extremely uncomfortable. Be sure to begin this process with an open mind and an understanding that you might not like what you find. Without owning your flaws, any progress you attempt will be undermined by your dishonesty with yourself.

By taking a personal inventory of your less-than-perfect traits, you can learn how to recognize them as they pop up in your daily life. You can then work towards regulating these characteristics in future situations. Of course, this is not an easy, one-and-done process. You have to be prepared to face whatever you find, putting your less desirable traits under the microscope of truth. Things that are easily smoothed over with a dose of self-deception must be brought to light.

Discovering Your Shortcomings.

Learning and acknowledging your flaws is the first step to understanding yourself more deeply. There are many different techniques for doing this such as:

• Journal about it. Reflect on what you think your shortcomings might be and remember﹘ they might be hiding in your positive character traits as well. You can use pen and paper, digital documentation, or even voice recordings.
• Look at the data. If you have past performance reviews, study that feedback. What did your supervisors make note of that could use improvement?
• Discuss with others. How others perceive us often provides invaluable insight into our personalities that we might not be able to see. Asking someone close to you to be brutally honest about your flaws can be remarkably insightful. Be sure to thank them for this information and never hold it against them (after all, you asked!).
• Look at common flaws. Many leaders fall prey to the same weak spots. Consider reviewing some of the most common character flaws leaders possess and asking yourself if any of those sound like you. You might be surprised at how many apply to you, but it’s also important to note just how common these obstacles are. You are far from alone.

Find your preferred method of self-reflection and start asking tough questions. Be open to whatever you might find. The journey won’t be a painless one, but it will be well worth it on the other side.

Trust the Process.

Even if you can easily write them down, confronting your shortcomings is not an easy task. This should not be a list of imperfections used to get down on yourself but rather a tool to create positive change in your life. You just have to be open to that change.

Once you know your blind spots, you’re free to grow and thrive. Self-deceptions are usually the chains that hold you back. Though this process may be uncomfortable, frustrating, and even hurtful at times, understanding yourself on a deeper level can improve every aspect of your life. Moving forward, you can work on situations based on their reality, rather than just your skewed perception of things.