Most Hyped Cricket Series In Decades Set For Anti-Climax After England’s Humiliation

England were humiliated in Perth (Photo by Philip Brown/Getty Images)

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Unless you’re an absolute diehard Australian supporter, those so enraged over England’s cavalier style dubbed ‘Bazball’, there was a hollow feeling waking up on Sunday on what should have been day three of the most anticipated Ashes series in two decades.

English revellers, totalling around 20,000 fans with many part of the merry supporter group affectionately known as the ‘Barmy Army’, were sighted in and around Perth’s watering holes late on Saturday night looking rather worse for wear, as they grappled with England’s utter capitulation.

No doubt many slumbered out of bed the next day rather gingerly, their heads in a knot, but their spirits lifted by the prospect of exploring the vast state of Western Australia considerably longer than expected.

Perhaps feeling the pinch from England wilting inside two days the most was Cricket Australia, ironically, who will reportedly lose $3 million from ticket venue on days three and four.

Two days of exhilarating cricket wasn’t quite enough to dull that anti-climactic feeling after such a long and hyped build-up.

Fuelling such a frenzy, other than the usual name calling and nonsense, was the genuine belief that the Ashes would be utterly competitive in Australia, edge of your seats type stuff that is usually reserved for tussles in the U.K, something that hasn’t happened since the 1980s.

But England were humiliated in the span of five madcap hours on a whirlwind Saturday afternoon, letting slip a position of strength before getting a taste of their own medicine when Travis Head flayed them with the type of swagger their ham-fisted batters could only dream of.

It means this five-match series is now staring down the barrel of being a one-sided bore, another calamity to add to the long list for England in their nightmare surrounds of the harsh Australian setting.

England have often unravelled quickly Down Under and there is a feeling of another swift implosion after they were not able to capitalize against a weakened and aging Australia side.

At lunch on day two, back when things felt relatively normal at Perth Stadium, England were on the brink of shutting the door on Australia’s attack – already without stars Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood – whose veteran quicks had to back up so quickly.

Offspinner Nathan Lyon was seen grimacing in the field having taken a stinging blow on the hip while batting to add to the mounting injury crisis.

There was also controversy swirling over opener Usman Khawaja, nearing 39 and under pressure to hold his spot, who suffered back spasms on day one having prepared for the game by playing golf.

The optics were bad as the Australian press – and so too the gleeful British tabloids – started to sharpen the knives with the match playing out in eerie fashion to India’s big victory in the corresponding Test a year ago on the same ground.

It felt like an Australian era was coming to a screeching halt. Remarkably, perhaps the swiftest transformation ever seen on a Test cricket field, the match was turned on its Head – pardon the pun -by the time the shadows started to creep onto the ground.

Head, replacing an ailed Khawaja in the role, properly executed Bazball better than any England batter ever has. By the end of such a pummelling, England had basically given up and no one could really make sense of it all.

Everyone was left stunned by the carnage and pure speed of this match – the seventh quickest in Test cricket’s near 150-year history. Seasoned journalists in the press box, even British scribes who have witnessed many of England’s infamous wreckages, looked perplexed.

Australia captain Steve Smith was also visibly coming to grips with it all in his press conference.

In a notable contrast, England skipper Ben Stokes – usually measured and pragmatic – looked forlorn, staring into the distance like he had seen a ghost. It was as if Stokes was seeing apparitions of horror shows from previous Australian tours as he finds himself facing the biggest challenge of his captaincy.

Bazball, of course, hovers over all of this. If the wheels come off, like it has for so many England touring teams over the years, then this might be the end of this Bazball experiment – which has become something of a way of life for the England team – that was spawned for the main purpose of winning the Ashes in Australia.

There is time. India just five years ago did famously recover from being bundled out for 36 in their series-opener in Adelaide, while England did mount an inspired comeback from 2-0 down to square the 2023 Ashes.

For it to be salvaged, however, England will need to play smarter and curb their instincts but tweaking their approach appears too late by this juncture. As coach Brendon McCullum stated in the immediate aftermath, expect England to double down amid the avalanche.

It feels like an inevitable inglorious end for Bazball. But at least their loyal supporters, used to watching such grim performances under the harsh Australian sun, will get more time to scope out the sights of this sprawling country during their extra down time.